"IF YOU WANT TO MAKE MONEY, CREATE CONTENT"
...

“I AM
CREATING F***ING CONTENT!”

Here’s the problem with just churning out content – everyone else is getting the same message AND DOING THE EXACT SAME THING!

“CONTENT IS KING!”

Yes, but it’s also EVERYWHERE!

Let’s face it, you can’t change aisles in the supermarket without stepping on a vlogger, podcaster, YouTuber or, worse still, an accountant called David.

If you’re doing what everyone else who listens to Gary Vee is, you’re not standing out.

You shouldn’t feel bad about this.

In an age where 675,000 new videos are added to YouTube every single hour*, it’s virtually impossible to stand out.

And, as more networks get created and more people get connected, it’s only going to get harder.

This is a heading - I put it in here to break up the text a little. I also made it a dark, yet not too bright, red colour.
Nice, innit?

If you want to make sure that you get – and keep – your perfect client’s attention, you NEED something different…

…GUACAMOLE!

OK, maybe not.

(though if the Guacamole thing works out for you, do let me know).

What you need is HUMOUR - the ability to make your readers laugh, chuckle and giggle. Do that, and they'll love you!

..and once more for the Americans among you…

What you need is HUMOR - the ability to make your readers laugh, chuckle and giggle. Do that, and they'll love you!

DISCLAIMER: The benefits of comedy vary. Not all funny people end up in bed, snuggling a brown bear.

The REAL Value of Being Funny...

Here’s a secret I’ve learned from being an award-winning magician and comedian (we’ll get to this in a second):

*** FUNNY IS MONEY ***

Make your readers laugh and they are FAR more likely to give you money.

FAR MORE LIKELY

 

(In exchange for goods and services, obviously).

There’s another advantage to being funny:

When your customer is laughing, their level of attention is HIGH, but their ability to resist is LOW.

Smiling customers open emails, read blog posts, and respond to questions.

Smiling customers find you irresistible!

 

(Remember Uncle Ben in Spiderman – “with great power comes great responsibility”)

“That’s all well and good, but I’m just not a ‘FUNNY’ person…”.

That’s OK. That’s an easy fix.

In fact, there are two.

The first is that you take up stand up comedy.

Immerse yourself in the stand-up comedy world.

Read and watch everything you can about comedians, jokes and gag structure whilst travelling all over the country fighting other comedians for 5-10 minutes spots and being heckled by people who narrowly missed out on appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The REAL value of being funny…

“So what? How does being a bit more funny help me? Tell me because I’ve skipped ahead. I’ve seen these pages before, so I know you about to ask me for some money…”

 

Remember your family?

Good, cos if you go the comedy route, you won’t be seeing them for a while…

It’s a bit of a slog, but totally doable if you have a few years handy.

You’ll learn the true art and craft of creating and performing comedy.

You’ll also know which service stations sell the best sandwiches too.

That’s one way…

…OR…

The Easy Peasy Way

You could get me to do it for you.

As an award-winning comedian and magician, I specialise in making people laugh.

I’ve done this for some of the largest companies in the world, such as Pepsi, Bae, Unilever and Paddy Power.

I’ve also done it for people you’ve never heard of too, such as Alan, the plumber from Wrexham. I did his 30th birthday party.

I know what works and what doesn’t.

Of course, I WOULD say that. I’d be stupid not to – it’s MY bloody website after all!

Instead, here’s some words that communicate the same idea, but from other people:

“John reworked the entire email series that gets sent to our trial users to make each one entertaining and engaging as well as informative. The results were fantastic. We saw a higher open rate for each email which in turn led to our customers having greater success with the product. He delivered exactly what we needed and we have no reservations in recommending him.” – Giggio

“John Holt is hilariously funny. He’s done some work for me and some Charm Offensive Professional members. He’s infuriatingly good. If you need to add humour to your copy, you should speak to John. Now. NOW!!! I said.” – Jon Buchan, Charm Offensive

“Haha, I couldn’t stop crying of laughter when I read the rewrite John had made of my presentation! John is one of the most hilarious people I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with! He can take the driest and dull presentation and transform it into a humorous and engaging one that just keeps your audience hooked and engaged, curious about what crazy metaphor or pun he comes up with next, all while people forget that the presentation is actually selling them on a product. He’s kind of like a ninja. A truly unique and amazing skill. Anyway, can warmly recommend John for any kind of writing work, if you want to make it engaging! John, thanks for making me look cooler and more fun than I actually am ;-)” – Anders Nielsen

That’s enough.

You get the gist –

I CAN MAKE PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE FUNNY!

Your customers will smile at your words, your talk and your blog.

They’ll like you.

Heck, they may even LOVE you.

What’s sure is that they are far more likely to buy from you.

“OK, OK, so what’s this going to cost?”

£99.

You give me £99 and up to 5,000 words and I’ll make them funnier than a…

[hilarious metaphor available only to customers]

What can I funny-up?

  • Speeches
  • Blog posts
  • Emails
  • Talks
  • Books
  • Long form social media posts

If you’ve got a bunch of words that need resuscitating, give them to me and I’ll fire up my comedy defibrillator and bring them to life.

Just click the magic button, pay £99 and we can work together to make you funny!

What have you got to lose?

“er…£99”

Oh yeah.

Shit.

I should’ve thought that through more.

If you have any questions, just ask.

(I’m shit at Geography, so you might want to avoid that)

I’m happy to jump on a Zoom/Skype call beforehand so you can see if we’d be a good fit.

If you want more engaged clients, here’s that magic button again

* I totally made this up, but it feels about right, doesn’t it?